Gaga Dreams

I am by no means the biggest Lady Gaga fan in the world, but I do find her entertaining to a degree (and I quite enjoyed Bad Romance). However, judging by the amount of dreams I've had about her over the last few months, you'd say I was a first rate stalker.

I honestly don't know what prompts these dreams of Her Gaganess, but they're always so vivid and vibrant. My first dream about Gaga was about a show she had come down to do in Cape Town. I was in the front row singing along to Bad Romance with a bunch of friends and she spotted us and invited us up on stage. Apparently she was so impressed with the way I sang the song that she asked me to write a song for her (I don't know exactly how the two correlate, but in dreams things don't usually need to make sense).

Then there was another dream where she was visiting one of the wine farms. I was there (again), but this time it was during a rehearsal for the show. She was dressed as a cupcake (yes, cupcake), complete with cherry and whip-cream inspired millinery. The rest of her dance troupe's outfits were less inspired and she wasn't a happy camper. So, apparently ever prepared with a sewing kit in this dream, I offered to create a new set of costumes for the dancers... from scratch - and all inspired by confectionary. We worked day and night to finish them and by the time the concert rolled around, all was done. So impressed was she that she told me to join her on stage for Pokerface. Ecstatic, I made a costume for myself from lime green and black spandex and marched onto the stage dressed as a giant Liquorice Allsort.

The next dream was an interesting one, no doubt inspired by Telephone (even though I've heard the whole song only about twice). I was sitting in my apartment in some dodgy part of town, stressing about the fact that my mother had invited my ex over for tea. So naturally I picked up my 80's style lip-shaped phone and called my BFF Gaga for advice. Complete in split-screen technicolour from the other side of town, she told me to... wait for it... "just dance". When I told her I don't feel like dancing (cue Scissor Sisters montage here), she reiterated "just dance, dammit!" Which was what I reluctantly ended up doing.

The last one involved more people than usual. Apparently my sisters and I had entered a contest in which we won an evening out with Cher and Nicole Kidman. When we met up with them, they told us that we weren't spending the night with them, but with Lady Gaga instead. Our excitement was supernatural. So up rolls the limo and Cher and Nicole usher my sisters and I inside where Gaga is waiting dressed in red sequence and blue glitter. Apparently we were wearing similarly styled outfits, because I remember my sister explaining to me how my outfit looked more "masculine" because it had less glitter on it. Yes, I'm sure... the red sequence doesn't make me look like a queen at all!

So we took a drive around Chapman's Peak and to Camps Bay at night, all the while just chatting up a storm with Gaga and getting to know her better. We were taking pictures of each other, but when I wanted a picture with her, she told me she'd love to but that it was illegal. I didn't quite understand and remembered thinking that no one on Facebook would believe that I met Lady Gaga unless I had a picture of it.

And those were my last thoughts before I woke up. I've had more Gaga dreams than those, but (perhaps thankfully) they've all disappeared from my memory. If I have another one, I'll be sure to keep you informed.